There are plenty of reasons to be a detached person in the world we live in; if we’re being honest. People suck. Opportunities fall through. Lies are common. Stones hurt and good things end. There are plenty of reasons to keep life at an arm’s distance and side-eye anyone or anything that comes in and makes you happy. There are plenty of reasons to “STRANGER DANGER!” cupid and any of his minions. There are plenty of reasons to turn down opportunities that seem “too good to be true” because there’s always a chance they actually are too good to be true.
THERE ARE PLENTY OF REASONS to push good things away when life puts you in a position where hypothetical failures take precedence over real effort and the possibility of success. Truth is, it’s easier to just never know what the outcome could have been than it is to fail... I think this is where I’d get stuck. I’d think not giving it a shot was different from failure when in real life...not giving a shot was an even bigger failure. To be real with you, there are still times I go back to my construction zone to start rebuilding. Hey, bad habits aren’t the easiest to quit and it’s a default setting most of reset to the moment we become afraid of “what could happen” or start living in “what did happen.” When you’ve been hurt or sheltered enough…this is your go-to.
“Somebody hurt my feelings.” BRICK. “I was rejected.” BRICK. “I didn’t get it right.” BRICK. “They didn’t call back.” BRICK. “This way is different.” BRICK. “This way is new.” BRICK…and before you know it, there’s this wall of resentment, regret and punk tears surrounding you and you began to call that protection. We shield ourselves with that and it becomes not necessarily a comfort zone….but a familiar one. It’s always easier to attach yourself to something you’ve known before than it is to learn or experience something new, even if it’s better for you. So we stay in the familiar place which is usually behind a wall of mundane, lifeless safety. I’m getting to a place where I understand the need to have my own back but what if…there was a way to do that without missing out on life, love and freedom of choice? What if I told you that it is safer to have guards up than it is to have walls? && Yes… there are differences between the two.
Walls are built on fear and guards are built on wisdom.
The foundation on which your yeas and nays are built on is the determining factor in whether or not you will live the life God has called you to live. Guards filter and let the right people in. Guards don’t take things personal. Guards allow freedom and growth. Walls keep everyone out and leave you lonely. Walls block blessings, not just bad people and bad outcomes. They leave you unsatisfied and full of excuses to justify your lack of participation in your own life. The craziest thing about walls is that they have no respect of person. Sure they keep things out, but they keep you trapped in. There’s nothing worse than being trapped behind a wall that you’ve built and have the power to knock down but are too afraid to. Especially when there’s this natural pull inside of you to experience so much more than your wall allows.
Living with guards is when you feel free to jump because you might just land on your feet. Suffocating with walls is when you’re too afraid to jump because you might just land on your head.
As a believer, it is critical to understand the difference between the two because our faith requires us to 1. Exist with other humans using an open heart; and 2. Use our open hearts to maximize the potential of our purposes. We are required to wear these hearts openly because they are the keys to fulfilling the purposes God has for us. Proverbs 4:23 says “Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.” They are to be guarded but visible and not hidden behind walls. They are designed to take chances…they shape lives. The beauty in the life your open heart creates is in the opportunities you’re given to live it…SO LIVE IT. Our experiences are answers. Our mistakes are the lessons. Our downfalls turn into stepping stones!
Don’t be afraid to expose yourself to new people and things because there’s a chance it might all work out. There’s a chance this relationship might work out. There’s a chance this new way may be the better way. There’s a chance this job might call you back. There are no guarantees in this world but there are plenty of opportunities to get it right. Contrary to popular experience, good things do happen to good people…but you’ve got to let them. Loosen up a bit. Start knocking down bricks of fear and inexperience.
I love you from the other side of the wall girl,