We outgrow shoes, jeans, bras, and styles; none of which are cheap by the way…but we can’t help it. That’s just how things go. We outgrow stuff we’ve invested some form of something into and think nothing of it. I’ve come to realize that one of the biggest things we tend to outgrow is friendship. She was your girl and now she’s not. What. The. Heck? When did BF”forever” become just a phrase?
It’s like you slowly start to drift away and your urge to tell her the latest in your life starts to fade. “Omg! I need to call her!” turns into “I’ll catch her when I catch her.” You don’t even take a second to do the most easy thing…send a “what’s up” text. It’s like you notice the change but you don’t stop it. There really isn’t much you can do. Though you miss that person, you don’t really put forth the energy to be as close to them as you were before. The ability to drift apart was almost too easy. Why is that?
People would ask me about her and how she was. I always responded by telling them she was well while honestly not knowing how true that statement was. How do you get to the point where you have absolutely no clue what’s going on in the person’s life that you were once so involved in? How do you not know that she lost a family member or that she was really having a rough patch at one point? How do you miss these things and not “miss” knowing these things?
Truth is, sometimes we suck at communicating – even with all the numerous technological advances we have to keep in touch. Sometimes it’s our fault that our friendships are spread thin and we don’t do our part. However, and unfortunately, growing apart is an inevitable, natural process because life has taken you down a totally different path than the other person. Sometimes they’re only meant to be in your life as heavily as they were for a season because whatever they had to offer during that time was enough to get you through and vice versa. (Did I mention this sucks)?
This isn’t a selfish type of thing; it’s a life type of thing. It’s a growing type of thing. No side eye should be given because of it. You know how we women can be. The moment we don’t hear from that person or lose interest in keeping up with them, we assume it’s some big God-given reason and we push further away assuming there’s an issue. Majority of the time, it’s almost never that serious.
Just because you two have drifted apart doesn’t mean they don’t matter anymore. Just because your seasons have changed doesn’t mean their friendship is any less important. On the contrary, it’s the times that they are absent that you really appreciate every laugh, cry, discovery, boy talk, sleepover, pillow fight, and every heart-to-heart you’ve ever had. The sadness is immediately nudged to the side to form a smile. Their awesomeness and importance is magnified by those great memories.
Try something new today; call up your girl and see how she’s doing. No expectations and NO TEXTs. Just a verbal hello. I can almost guarantee you that once you get past that awkward, “I haven’t spoken to you in a brick” greeting, you’ll fall right back into the comfortable friendship you’ve always naturally had. Plan a day to just kick it and catch up. It’s not that hard.
Don’t focus on being friends the way you used to be. Focus on being friends the way you’re able to be NOW. You never know what new things in your lives will be beneficial to the growth of a new friendship.