3. She wants you...but she doesn't know what she wants.
It’s probably wayyy hard to believe but us women…we can be….indecisive. I know, who would’ve thought? (haha) But no, reality is, just like men have to grow and get an understanding of who they are/what they want, so do we. We tend to be unaware of our inability to make decisions during these growth spurts and sometimes, we drag people along with us because it feels good at the time; it feels right…and then we change our minds. You can’t seem to get a good grip or consistent flow going because she’s unsure every other week.
James 1:8 says “A double minded man (or woman) is unstable in all his (her) ways.” We trip and flip flop too. This is no shade to us because we all do things like this and it’s unfortunate that the heart is involved. We’re all learning. Give her space and YOU make the decision to back off and observe. Grace and being a good man does not mean you have to stick around while someone figures out what they want, especially when it comes to figuring out if they want YOU; a human with feelings, emotions and other options. That’s unnecessary pain and God is not in confusion.
On behalf of women all across the land, I do apologize. We’ve broken the hearts of some really good men because we just didn’t know…
4. You’re not ready and SHE knows it.
I’ve been all of the women I listed in these last two blogs. The shallow one, the uninterested one, the indecisive one…and now, the one who knows better but is apparently playing hard to get. Sir. -_-. This is one I and many other single Christian women won’t take credit for or ever claim to be. I’m not hard to get. I don’t have the energy or endless list of eligible bachelors at my door to be doin’ all that. I’m just…not easy. Plain and simple. I don’t dangle standards in your face for fun. I just OWN the standards I live by and am not moved if and when you don’t. That my dear, is the case where it’s not me - it’s you. I recognize it for what it is even while emotions and chemistry are running high. Again, no shade, but if you aren’t ready and everything in my Word and in wisdom tell me so, you will not get a response from me. Point blank period.
What does “not ready” mean? Well, I can’t speak for every woman and what God tells them but for me, not being ready means not being in a position to grow and follow the voice of God NO MATTER WHAT. It actually has nothing to do with me and all to do with you. I’ve come to learn that it is possible for me to be too much for someone if I am not enough of what they are allowing to weaken or hinder them at the time. I have no problem if you are in that stage of your life where you’re not ready to commit to the will and ways of a believer. I have no issue with you (because it’s your life) sleeping around, blacking out, rebelling because you have daddy issues or whatever, we’ve all been there to some degree. By all means, go through whatever it is you’re going through. My issue is when I’m put into the middle of it or caught off guard by it. Though neither are always obvious in the beginning, when they are, I PAY ATTENTION. Lol. I don’t have to be a part of that reckless process. #wishyouthebesttho
Not every fire has to be walked into for God to show you what’s what. This is why discernment and knowing what grace looks like is important.
You can’t properly take care of and lead what you aren’t ready for. I mean that’s goes for anyone but in this scenario, most women, at least me, come with an open heart and desire that you just be straight up from jump about your downfalls and under-developed areas so that WE get to decide whether or not it’s something we want to move forward with. Do not take that opportunity away from us. If you know you aren’t down to wait for sex, leave her alone. If you know you don’t serve the community or church in any capacity and that's something she's super serious about, leave her alone. If you KNOW you aren’t ready to commit and you’re just out to have fun, but you know she's ready for something more, leave her alone. It’s not worth your frustration and it’s not worth the ‘you’re trying to change me’ argument you're bound to start. Avoid it.
Ladies, you do the same. If you aren’t ready to be what you know you need to be for a man chasing after God, bounce. There aren’t enough of us out here for you to be snatching the good ones up, hardening their hearts and tossing them back out. WE OTHER LADIES ARE NOT REHAB CENTERS!
It took a while and truth be told, I still haven’t completely arrived and I probably won’t because growing is a never-ending story (Great movie by the way). However, I’ve learned how to adapt and accept what comes with maintaining this steady walk I’ve been on. I understand and accept that I cannot say yes to everyone. I cannot give everyone my time and I can’t even begin to entertain certain things and people. This is not always easy. Believe it or not -sometimes I actually “want” to do the complete opposite of what I know to be better. Lol…but it’s not worth losing the peace of God man… I will never know everything, but knowing the least is on me…
Men, continue to seek wisdom and God in all that you do. Continue to seek an understanding on who you are as a man of God. Ladies, continue to seek wisdom and God in everything you do. Learn how to be pursued. No two pursuits look the same because no two men are exactly the same; no two women are exactly the same. However, there are some basics that should be present in EVERY relationship desiring and claiming to honor God.
I hope this shed a light on some things for your bro. I hope it gave you a clearer understanding.
Happy pursuing! May the odds be ever in your favor!
-your SIS on the inside...