“But when God?” “But how come I don’t have…?” “But why can they have?” Blahhhhhh… I’ve asked those questions before about people in regards to so many different things; educational advances, career opportunities, and the most common, relationships. Lol.
Thanks to mentors, diligence and someone consistently putting their foot in my behind when I complain, being a bridesmaid twice in one month, in what was one of the most challenging and intense single seasons of my life, was surprisingly easy for me. Outside of a few dress options and fittings,there were no fake smiles or fronts I had to try on and that's all God. Now. The most common and over-powering sides of me; the loner side, the struggling with the faint desire to settle side and the watching people all around me do the things I long to do side, were all easy to feed. There was and still is ample opportunity and an overflow of "other people's blessings" that I can throw into pitty party gift bags. The hard part was "choosing" to get a better grip and understanding of God in this season of my life. It was a fight and truth be told, I’m still swingin’. Why? Because the part we struggle with when it comes to being a believer for most of us singles, is learning how to be whole and truly fulfilled in God without it being a chore or surface expectation to do so. ESPECIALLY when we don’t believe He’s giving us what He promised.
The more I thought about it, prayed about it, and asked about it, the more I realized how hard it was to trust and believe in God while putting restraints and expectations on Him that aren't and never were, of Him. There was no space to trust Him for who He said he was, is and would be because I capped His abilities the moment I based them solely on the things I could see…or couldn’t. Wow man…what.a.revelation.
It took me awhile, but I truly believe that when you genuinely honor and celebrate people who God is putting in positions He has you currently on hold for, the peace that comes with patience overwhelms you. You look to experience God and not someone else's blessing. The level of spiritual growth and maturity in allowing other people’s blessings to be THEIR blessings creates the contentment we’re seeking. *lightbulb* The promise that God is always going to look out for you, no matter your current or future status, takes over and you're reminded that He's there; even through the love and union of others. I'm amazed at the understanding I'm gaining about how God works through other people and the celebrations of their victories in life. We are all intertwined and we were wired to succeed in and through fellowship. There is power in the praise of those around you EVEN WHEN you are struggling with those particular areas of your life.
I get it though. TRUST ME. I know that crappy and detached feeling all too well. It’s seen me naked. Haha,.. Bitter becomes the only one sleeping next to you at night; stealing all the covers of contentment God is using to keep you in a safe place. Lol. Like you know you're a little bitter when someone tells you to "wait on it" or "pray on it" or something else married people/ people in relationships commonly say (Lol) and you lowkey sigh because you feel they're oversimplifying your struggle (some do, some don't.) I mean seriously, it never fails to feel slightly annoyed when someone in a relationship gives you advice or expects you to be happy-go lucky all the time as it pertains to your single season. Lol. Be honest. However, though they're easy go-to tips to the booless, there is truth in them. It took me a LONG while and most times I need to hear specific & down to earth advice but there will come a time where I won't roll my eyes or brush off the "common sayings”. There will be a time where I’ll find fulfillment every time I’m reminded to wait on God or to pray about it. ..simply because IT'S TRUE.
Now I'm not quite at a point where I genuinely enjoy or really appreciate someone giving me true but over generalized advice on “how to be single”, but I AM at a point where I can rejoice in what God is doing in the lives of the people He uses to keep me steady and strong in this walk; who hold me accountable to God's standard. Nothing more, nothing less, until something else…
Be happy for those around you! Celebrate there blessings and not because you feel God will bless you for doing it, but because you can acknowledge God for being God everywhere you look. That's the beauty in it all. That's the key to how you do life, period.
Be gone with "But when?" and welcome a few "congrats" for ya homies!
Love you much!