Now, now…I’ve spoken on similar subjects but I don’t think I’ve ever really gotten into the experience. I’ve defended it, I’ve explained how to be content/confident in it…so many things…but I’ve never really gotten into the nitty gritty of what it’s like being a CHRISTIAN VIRGIN. My perspective..
1. People think we’re unicorns and the idea of us is cute UNTIL…the commitment to the calling (Pastor Steven's sermon) is actually enforced. This is extremely odd to me given that most of us believers are given the same doctrine (Bible) and teachings on what the expectation is when it comes to sex. Now I totally get why we’d seem majestic in the world we live in today but the truth is…we are NOT magic and we are OBVIOUSLY not granting any wishes. Sometimes we just smile and to keep from crying even though we’re doing this out of obedience and honor to God. This ish is hard and there ain’t nothin’ glittery or mythological about it. It’s real. Please be mindful of that the next time you feel the bubbly urge to minimize someone’s journey to that of a childhood (adult) fantasy. ☺
2. We are often put on pedestals we do not ask to be on. People tend to put their convictions and hopes on our journeys. It weighs us down. The level of other people’s expectations is ridiculous and we can’t so much as hold someone’s hand or cuddle up without being told we’re “too close” to falling. We get it…and though we’re new to some things, we didn’t get this far by not being mindful and attentive to what is happening around us. It’s one thing to use your stories in hopes that we use them to fuel the fire of radical abstinence, and it’s another thing to use them against us in hopes to right your wrongs. I’m not you back in the day. 2 Corinthians 5:17 says “if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.” Christ already fixed it. I am not your virgin sacrifice.
3. We are not simply waiting for the one we love. We are waiting for the one we marry. This means that any amount of love shown prior to a ring and marriage commitment is just that…love shown prior to. It’s appreciated and rewarded but with consistency and time spent only. It is not the gate opener to sex. Us stronger ones will walk away crying and frustrated if it means NOT jeopardizing our walk.
4. We are NOT better Christians because we are virgins. It is not something we “should” take ownership of; at least not to the extent of which we exclude God & His grace from the equation. The credit is ours, sure, but it is ULTIMATELY HIS. We fall in just about every area…some of us even in sex. Do not for a second think that because our judgement may not be as clouded in one area that it is not clouded in others. We aren’t perfect. Just a couple of people trying to honor God in a way that isn’t glorified out here. Das it.
5. We are not made of stone. Like every human being’s, our bodies do not care about our commitments to God – We still get hot so you can pretty much ALWAYS count on us being bothered. Ever wonder why we stay mad? Lol. I hit 25 and my entire body said “what’s a flee?” Lol. Trust me, we’re feeling you as much as you’re feeling us. We define the word curious. Lol.
6. My IG posts are definitely highlight reels. OF COURSE I’m going to post like nothing is hard but the truth behind those #FridayNightin hashtags is low-key devastating sometimes. I’d much rather be Netflix and NO chillin’. Duh…#butGod
7. We cross many things off the list when any health issues pop up unexpectedly. Like no, there’s no chance of me being pregnant BUT...I did eat like 6 tacos. That explains it. We pop Pepto tabs and move on. Call us whack & out of touch but we sleep hella peaceful at night. ;)
8. We don’t ALL have baby fever. Most of us actually love kids. I’m known to just hold babies and never want to give them back UNTIL I can BECAUSE I CAN. I actually have the option to give them back and do my “childless” tttiiinnningssss… like sleep. Lol.
9. We commit social suicide all the time. Some of us are extreme cutters of people who do not align with the call on our lives. It’s not that we’re weak. It’s not even that we’re sensitive or better than anyone else. We just understand that in a world where love is defined by sex, we are defined by love. If someone doesn’t get that, we isolate ourselves in an effort to shed dead weight. Socially…we aren’t typically the cool kids.
10. Contrary to what some observers believe, we don’t’ have it all figured out simply because we’re abstaining from sex. Though sex produces life, it is NOT life. There are other issues that just like anyone else, we deal with; adulting, discovering the meaning of life, making our own Doctor’s appointments….Sallie Mae…I can do this all day. Honestly though, we’re just as insecure, lonely and human. Only difference is, we are choosing to conquer these negatives without the possibility of certain “positives”. #yadig