So he texted me a few times & I just didn't respond. My attempt at caring & even trying to be interested was a failure. Again. I wasn't interested. Lol..but then I got frustrated b/c I'm 24, decent looking (I guess) & I'm chilled. I'm drama-free, parents like me & I love the Lord fiercely. I'm the hasn't been with everyone, hold you "up", 'I'm with you & only you', 'whatchu need?' type SO WHY AM I NOT SNATCHED UP? Better yet, WHY CAN'T I SEEM TO GET INTO THE GAME anymore? I wasn't a "master player" but why could I no longer tolerate someone randomly hitting my phone just to be there? It used to be easy, fun even, but now, I can't fade talking to men who, even if dope, just ain't...him. To most, I'm supposed to be having fun, weighing options, just out..Lol. But instead I'm way more into Netflix series, great interest rates, Swifters & staying in the house. Like what? Lol. Ima housesingle with spotless counters.😉
I just couldn't understand why I couldn't "see" men anymore. It's like I got tunnel-visioned and in expectation for a "one"...& it caught me off-guard because I have no current prospects. Well...at least any who know I'm sort of crushin'. 🙈 I'm not that deep. Lol. But like since when did I stop lowkey looking around for empty ring fingers during church services just to...see? I was bothered by this "unbothered" attitude because it blocked.🙄
Then it hit me. I asked for this. "When Rhe?" -The moment I decided to acknowledge my worth as something more than a petty weapon to get what I wanted. I decided it was something I didn't have to grow into, just...wake up to; didn't even have to work for it. Now, I'm intentonal, even beyond my understanding most times. I'm bored with quick fixes b/c like most Tyler Perry movies, I already know how they'll end. I decided that it wasn't a bad thing to be uncommon. It's not a bad thing to do things & want things the way God wants them. It's not weak, it's not whack, it's smart. Practicality & common sense are of the Lord. Lol. So now I'm just waiting for him to come to the same conclusions & truly recognize me. 💅 My bags are empty, bills are paid, legs are closed & ears are open. I'll know him b/c he'll be the truth.