Purity? Or Unwanted?

"Not sure if I'm practicing purity or no one wants me...". Lol. I've been there. You lowkey -some of us highkey- start to question whether or not you still got it… whatever “it” is. Lol. Fact: This walk will appear to be a lonely one at times when you start praying for characteristics like discernment and obedience. People who were once attractive to you will no longer be attractive to you. Certain things that used to peak your interest will no longer be appealing to you, pleasing to you or satisfying to you. It’s not that no one wants you, it’s that YOU DON’T WANT THEM and it’s hard to grasp the sudden change in preference sometimes. I get it. I’ve learned that the more advanced you become in your walk with God, the more your vision will change. You will grow to see what is pleasing to God and not necessarily what is pleasing to your flesh. It is important that you don’t mix this new God vision with impaired vision. Your eyes work just fine, they just HEAR from a different perspective. 😉

You’re still the hottness. You’re very much so desired and you for sure aren’t broken. In fact, walking with God will NOT change your physical wants and so called “needs”. Your body will continue to work exactly the way it was designed to. The only difference between then and now is that you acknowledge your worth for what it truly is; priceless. Welcome to the life of true relationship! || Galatians 6:9 “And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart.” -You shall reap Bae in due season. God is training you in purity so that this attitude of obedience and purity can continue in and maintain a healthy marriage. It’s so worth it in the end.

If I were a boy, I'd probably do it better.

There is a struggle with having to be found because sometimes, we as young women seem to know exactly what and who we want and we don't understand why we can't go out, scroll, select and date. I get it sis...believe me. If I could, I'd go and be with who I want to be with but what I'm learning is that "finding" is out of order on our parts. Our jobs are to stay hidden in the Word & drowned in our purposes. Ever notice when we take things into our own hands and flip the script, we find ourselves in situations that aren't very fulfilling at all? Or less than we know we deserve? We find ourselves settling and compromising when God intends for us to satisfy and cover in our relationships; To be wise and nurturing...not angry and tolerating, chasing and crying. Patience isn't easy. I know this. Staying in our places is not easy because we don't believe men know what they're doing. The moment they don't notice us when we think they should've, it gets tiring. I understand...but as believers, we've chosen to surrender all and that includes our desires to love and be loved. Wait to be found...and in the meantime, learn how to make the right decisions. Study God's voice and learn how to be approachable while keeping your heart guarded. Be ready... Your wait has work in it. Get to it! & remember, the race is not given to the thirsty, but to the chick who endures to the end. It sucks but wisdom and patience are your best friends in this season.

Sometimes I want to settle...

READ ON: The up side to the occasional lonely moment...? You have quiet & undisturbed time to write about it. Truth is, it's hard NOT to settle in quiet moments. It's really hard not to send that text, make that call or open that door... Point is...its just hard. Lol. From experience though, I'd rather put my pen to paper and my finger tip to key than to put my heart to hurt. I've traded my tears for words that move things. We've made being single more of a struggle than it may initially be because we get impatient and overwhelmed with being single. It's def. overwhelming and IT IS the worse when you crave intimacy on a different level. I'm not necessarily talking about sex, I'm talking about being held, that connection, that different, masculine energy from someone you just click with; someone who just gets it even in silence. Someone you can just lay there with, who can touch you without touching you. It's an ok desire to have but it gets to be a lot when a desire is at your fingertips and still unreachable based on the standard you've set according to the Word. But you know what sucks even more? Having to do it a second time when you had the option and opportunity to do it right the first time. At some point, alone won't feel like lonely.... We'll get there. Don't. Settle. #justwait #imeanifwerebeingreal #youbdiff #single #lonely #alone #worthit

Choose to anyway...

Change is intimidating sometimes; most times actually. I know...I'm RIGHT in the middle of it all. It's explosive and God is doing THE CRAZIEST and most UNBELIEVABLE things. The moments I've spent crying, the fear, the words unspoken that should've been spoken, all the doubt, the procrastination...the disobedience...and God has literally been there every step of the way pushing me because I chose to seek and pursue Him even when I was afraid to. I'll take the top over all the other Shenanigans. Keep pushing you guys.. IT PAYS OFF!! Your fear will shift into confidence. Don't lean on your own understanding because it sucks. Let God be great.

Go through the green lights you don't think you deserve

My over-analyzed interpretation of my accidentally snapped photo:

This is so reflective of what most of our lives as young(er) believers look like. God often gives us the green light when we least expect it and we squander opportunities He throws our way because we don't think we deserve them, they're not in the ideal packages or they're not as clear as we think they should be based on...what we made up; basically. Lol. I'm learning that God will sometimes present blessings and lessons in packages He knows we'll open. He'll put favor at the end of paths full of chaos, blame, insecurity, doubt, self-pity, destruction, generational curses/decisions, darkness, addiction...comfort-zones...because He knows that we will unfortunately BUT fortunately walk down them. My point: Go through the green lights you don't think you deserve, you don't think make sense...and that you don't understand. More often than not, those are the states we're ALWAYS IN anyway. God is God even when you're speech is slurred and your vision impaired. You don't have to be perfect for Him to be. Let Him work. YOU HAVE THE OPTION TO WIN. #20something

A virgin ranting; You're more than your virginity

So I was thinking (usually a dangerous thing - Ha) and I've come to the conclusion that there's more to my walk...and my story...than my virginity. People, ourselves included, have this way of making your obedience in one department ALL of who you are and they create unrealistic and narrow-minded expectations of who you should be. If you're not careful, you become prideful in this. You lose the truth and importance of WHY you do what God calls and commands you to do. I'm not waiting until marriage because it makes me look good. I don't wear it as some huge badge of honor for the world to see and I don't do this for some enormous prize in the end. I do this because it is required of me as a believer. It is one of the many ways I honor God. **I actually had a really good friend tell me that "I am not doing this for God. He's doing this for me.." and it SMACKED ME. Lol.. Listen, I am allowed to be more than and bigger than what people know me for... You're bigger than what people know you for... Don't get stuck in that one thing you do right and run with it. You're SUPPOSED to do these things. Get more!

I'm ALSO learning that my virginity should not be the absence of wisdom and other amazing things out there for me to grab. It should not be ALL OF WHO I AM. My inexperience does not have to be my demise. I'm learning to get knowledge and grow... I'm sharpening my walk with God, I'm networking like crazy. I'm hopping on planes and traveling; exploring new things. Mannnnn I'm LEARNING STUFF and I'm LEARNING MYSELF...I'm READING MY WORD...I'm LOVING PEOPLE AND BEING LOVED... I'm doing all of these awesome things and when the day comes for me to gift my virginity to the man who calls me wife, there will still be more to ME left. There will still be virtue, excitement and an expectation of purity intact even after the breaking of my hymen.

A woman's pursuit from my perspective

When a man is pursuing you, be mindful and observant of what he's pursuing. Is he pursuing your current situation and state with the expectation of growth?... or is he pursuing his own idea of who he thinks you should already be but really aren't...? Sure he should expect certain characteristics before he really pursues you and being pursued is great. Being loved up on is also great; however, being blindsided by your own hand is not. Though there are men out there who slip through the cracks on account of charm and AMAZING cologne, it would behoove us as young women with open hearts to guard them. That's something WE control. It would be wise to do our part of the pursuit and that's not just leaning over to unlock his car door; that's eliminating the amount of emotion we use in making decisions that require logical thinking and wisdom-fueled responses. Your part of the pursuit is to exercise wisdom in what YOU do and how approachable you allow yourself to be. Your part in the pursuit is not to block your heart, but to guard it. These parts you play will not only aid you in discerning a genuine man of God from a genuine man with only good intentions...but will show this man how much you trust God to be who He says He is. This confirms to him that when you say "yes" to any proposal, date night or marriage, he is exactly where he is supposed to be... Make sense? It's a two way streak... Gotta learn how to be pursued. #youbdiff #women #pursuit #doyourpart